garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
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The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
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I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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