I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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