Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize