brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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