I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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