she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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