i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
