I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
