His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
