the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
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Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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