awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
