just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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