you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
