$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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