I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
