I accidentally burped into my bong.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
