She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
