standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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