Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Randomize
