you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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