just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
