so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
