He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
