yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
