id be glad to
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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