Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
why do cheetos always look like penises
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
