dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Enjoy the penises
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
