with your own penis?
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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