I murdered the dance floor call the cops
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
