Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
