Dual....:-)
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
