remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
