He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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