girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
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I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
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