You just made me feel so damn special
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
When did angry sex become our thing?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize