How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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