Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
