I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
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To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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