We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize