I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Randomize
