He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
It's official drugs can't kill me
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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