You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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