Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
did you just send me my own nude
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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