Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
