Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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