why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
