i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Randomize
