shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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