how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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