How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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