I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heās Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
She told me Iām a āstunt cock.ā Iām okay with that
Randomize