matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
and she was petting her beer can
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
