Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
