Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
