Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
It's never too late to be topless.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Randomize
