he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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