he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
