I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
